eerie
Ok, so I would not claim to be a psychic but something of that nature has happened a handful of times in my life. One of those times has recently came to mind and I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I’m sure it’s due to the time of year. I may have told this story before. I really don’t feel like scrolling down my page to look at previous blogs to see if I did. If I did and you remember it then consider it a re-run and you can read it again or not and wait until my next blog. If I did and you don’t remember it then I guess everything will be ok and we can proceed! 
On October 9, 2008 I had a little girl on my mind. Her name was Sydney. She was the daughter of an ex – boyfriend that I used to date when I lived here before. She was a bright and pretty little girl. I am not sure if she was on my mind a few days or just on that day. On that day the thought was more strong. I am not sure how to describe it, but it’s stronger than just a passing thought of someone you haven’t thought of in a long time. This was a nagging presence that just kept bugging me. So, I sent an email. I kept it short and simple. When I broke up with this ex-boyfriend (EB) it wasn’t on the best of terms. I’m not sure what issues he had that he wasn’t letting me in on, but his communication skills were lacking to say the least. If you all know anything about me, I need to talk out my feelings and anything else that is on my mind. Anyway, there was other stuff going on and I just felt we needed to part ways. So for me to send him an email out of the blue I figured I would keep it short and to the point. I will copy and paste what I said to him.
‘How’s it going? Not sure why but today I was thinking of Sydney. I bet she is getting big. How old now? You’ll have to send me a picture.
You still at the Bent Tree? What’s new in your life?
Everything going pretty good here’
Here is what he responded back to me.
I have very bad news, Bu’er. My ex-wife murdered Sydney, then took her own life. It happened in April. My entire family, and I, are completely destroyed. I’m barely able to talk about it, but give me a call and I’ll let you know what happened.
Always,
EB’
When I read that I was shocked. Beyond shocked. My stomach became an instant knot. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was the weirdest and worst feeling I think I have ever felt in my life. I didn’t know what to say back to him. What do you say to someone who just lost their daughter and the ex wife was believed to have done it. I remember that he used to tell me how unstable she was. She was one of those women who lied about things and everyone believed her. She could accuse someone of something and she knew how to manipulate the courts in her favor. I met her one time. At one time they were suspecting her current husband ( I think she was married like 5 times). I’m not sure whatever came of it…but, the other day he sent me an email on FB to say Merry Christmas and I have been corresponding some with him. He asked about K and how old she was. I was telling K the story today and she started crying. She said how sad and she couldn’t imagine having to deal with anything like that. One of the things I said to him was ‘ it’s like it’s not real” like, what? how could that be? like, nothing like that could ever happen to someone that I knew. Plus, it made me wonder why and how did I start thinking about her, why couldn’t I get her out of my mind?
Another time I got the same sensation about an old Yahoo chatter. Do you all remember Bloss? Her and I have always kept in contact…when I lived in VA the first time we would sometimes chat on the phone. I was at work one day and she came to my mind. I’m not sure how long it had been since I had spoken with her, but I think it was a least a month or more. I emailed her when I got home and told her about how I was working and for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She emailed me back and asked what time it was that I thought about her. I told her what time it had been and she responded that right about that time she was at the doctor’s with her mother in law and they had just found out that her mother was being diagnosed with cancer. She explained how bad her husband was taking the news and how she was worried about how to take care of her.
In both of those circumstances I wonder if I should have done more. Is that the reason it happened, should I have done something else or gotten more from it? I don’t know but I have not had any of those incidents for a long time.
Well, I guess this wasn’t a great blog 2 days before Christmas, but that is what is on my mind…..and that’s just how we roll.
I don’t think you should feel guilt or remorse for “not doing something”. You do plenty by tuning in and being there at a time people need to hear supportive words.
Wasn’t Bloss married to a guy named Michael?
Who was I just talking to about her? Arie?
you shouldn’t feel guilty. with the boyfriend, there was nothing you could have done, especially when you jsut had that feeling and the girl was murdered months ago. but i do think you should continue correspondence with this guy, i’m sure he could use some wise words from an old friend. and bloss, i always loved bloss. and i remember when michael’s mom got diagnosed. and when you got that feeling about bloss, it wouldn’t have been a good time to call her anyway since it was all so fresh. the important thing is that you were there for her.
I’m positive that there’s nothing you could have or should have done chickie. You’re doing what your gut tells you to, and contacting people when that twinge of intuition kicks in.
I agree that perhaps it would be good to lend an ear to an old friend….
BUT….
Be careful. I can only imagine what an unstable and emotional mess he and the rest of his family must be, and you don’t need to confuse someone else’s shit for your own (especially right now when you’re getting your own ducks in a row.)
<3
Happy New Year Bu’er!
My address has changed so…I need to FB you the new one. Do not use the addy I gave you with the zip ending in 122.
Best to you and yours in the New Year!
ok bu’er. it’s been almost two weeks since you’ve blogged and i’ve been blogging. so it’s your turn!
wtf bu’er…seriously…wtf…i know you’re gettin settled n all…but fuckin blog already!
damn, girl calm down or you’ll have a heart attack!!
i’m blogging now.