I’m pretty much settled in here.  I knew it wouldn’t take me long to adjust being here, since I lived in this area before.  K is doing so well in school.  No more fights in the mornings to go to school.  She is bringing all her grades up.  This makes the move all worth while knowing she is OK. 

I found out 2 years ago that there is a walk you can join for Crohn’s.  It was closer to my MD home and for a reason that I can’t remember now I didn’t get to do it.   Last year it was too far away.   So, yesterday I was looking into it and I see where the walk is close to the Washington Monument.  I am not too far from that so I am going to get a team together and sign up.  I’m looking forward to it.  Finally something I can really relate to and will be able to help in the process.   I”ve always walked in the past for the March of Dimes, so this year it’s the Crohn’s walk and I think I’ll join GG in walking for MS.   Her step father suffers from MS.

Two weeks or so ago, I went to bed and my stomach was hurting.  I know at this point with this disease how my body is going to handle it.  I had a feeling it wasn’t a pain that was going to go away and it didn’t.  I was in bed all day and by the evening I knew I had to do something.  So my sister in law took me to the ER.  I hated it because now that’s another bill I have to worry with but there was no other choice I was in so much pain.  (since then I found out there is a financial assistance plan, so I’ll be checking into that)Luckily, there was no obstruction.  A lot of inflammation though.  I was given some pain med’s and sent home with a prescription for prednisone and vicodin.   The prednisone was a very high dosage so it made me not want to sleep and have a lot of energy.  I am not complaining about that, I love that side effect.  I got so much done around the house that I just love it.   The problem is that I eventually have to come down off of that and that’s what sucks.  My body is like WTF?  I’m always tired so taking something that keeps me active and not tired is so wonderful but at least I’m finally not in any pain and everything is moving the way it should be.  I started taking a probiotic and that helps me so much.  I had stopped because I couldn’t afford it…but now I will figure out a way to have it. 

GG and I decided for 2012, since 2011 sucked big balls for both of us, that we would get healthy.  (not diet mind you- that dirty little word, but get healthy)  We went and bought ourselves good walking shoes.   We walked for 2 nights and BAM my Crohn’s hit and I couldn’t join her in the walk, but this week I think we’ll start back up again.  (for me anyway).   She told me about a book that her mom had given her.  GG said that since her mom gave her that book that 3 other people had commented on reading it and losing weight.  So I said to let me take a look.  It’s called “Eat Right For Your Type, The Individualized Diet Solution to Staying Healthy, Living Longer & Achieving Your Ideal Weight”.  (Long ass title, huh?)  Written by: Dr. Peter J. D’Adamo.   Basically this dude is saying that diets shouldn’t be a “One size fits all” type diet.  Based on your blood type everyone is different in that you shouldn’t all eat the same things, nor excercise the same.  He starts out telling about blood and how each type was developed and then moves into each type and what you should or shouldn’t eat.  He breaks the foods down into highly beneficial foods, foods that are neutral and foods to avoid.  Now I’m not one to go all gaga about a diet.  Trust me  I am the type of person that has NEVER been able to follow one.  Usually there are foods that I can not stand, foods or spices that I will never purchase in my life and if I start telling myself you can never have this or that I will just say fuck it and eat it anyway.   I truly believe drinking lots of water and excercise is the most important thing.  I am blood type A.  Dr. Peter says that type- A people should be vegetarians.  He goes on to explain about how the blood type A people were the original farmers and how they grew everything.  Stomach acid is at different levels for everyone too and that should be treated differently.  Type O people are the oldest blood type people and they are the hunters so their main focus is on meat.   For me pork is a food that just doesn’t sit well with me…   I thought maybe I could give this a try.  Chicken and Turkey are on the neutral list, so I could incorporate them which is not hard, they are my favorite meats.  Banana’s are on the avoid list.  All my life I have liked banana’s but avoided them because when I eat a banana it makes me feel a little sick.  According to the book that makes sense.  A week or so ago GG and I took the girls to the movies.  We were at Books a Million waiting for the movie to be over and GG ordered a Mango smoothie…right after, she got sick on her stomach and had to rush to the bathroom.  We joked that mango must be on the “bad list” and lo and behold it was.  I read some reviews about the book and all of the negative ones stated that they tried the diet and it worked, but they gave it a low score because there was no scientific evidence.  Dr Peter talks about how his dad started the research and he finished it.  I guess there are a lot of people out there that need to have it written down and approved by the government before they believe it works.  What’s funny is those same people say how much it helped them, but they just couldn’t accept it because there is no scientific evidence.  I don’t need that.  I know my body and this sounds like something interesting to look further into.  I read some of the recipes and I don’t like them…(they follow that “what the hell I’m not buying that for just one meal” type fad) but with all the vegetables you can eat I will be satisfied and can make up my own meal plans.  I will never be a vegetarian (I think) because I will always want to have chicken or turkey.  So far I have not eaten any read meat for 2 weeks.  I have eaten sweets though.  So, I will reread this book a few more times and if I can incorporate some of the values, start exercising more and drink more water somewhere along the line I should incorporate some healthy habits.

I have not found a job yet.  I am so bummed about that.  I could kick myself for thinking I had that GEICO job in the bag.  But now I’m just dealing with it and applying to other stuff.   I found out that my MD license can’t be renewed yet.  I had all my continuing education classes met (you must have 24 hours to renew your license in Maryland).  But when I went to pay the renewal fee, it wouldn’t let me.  I finally got a hold of someone and they said that I had 10 hours of class room CE credits and I needed 12.  GRRRRRRR!! I never knew that.  It pisses me off more, because my last couple of days at the Hitler office, I asked JR if I could go to a class and he basically shot that idea down and said I could do it online….If I had taken that class I would have enough class time in.  So, now I have to find a MD class that I can get at least 2 hours in before I can renew my license.  And since it’s past the due date I have to pay extra, like at least 100 bucks.  sighs.

Well it’s just K and I this weekend.  GG is in NC visiting a friend whose father is dying.  Her kids are with their dad and so K and I have the whole house to ourselves.  I would like to do something this evening but I don’t want to spend any money because K will be 13 on the 23rd of this month and I told her she could have a party.  So, I have to save all my $$ for that.   We’ll have to see what we get into.

Peace out my friends!

On October 9, 2008 I had a little girl on my mind.  Her name was Sydney.  She was the daughter of an ex – boyfriend that I used to date when I lived here before.  She was a bright and pretty little girl.  I am not sure if she was on my mind a few days or just on that day.  On that day the thought was more strong.  I am not sure how to describe it, but it’s stronger than just a passing thought of someone you haven’t thought of in a long time.  This was a nagging presence that just kept bugging me.  So, I sent an email.  I kept it short and simple.    When I broke up with this ex-boyfriend (EB) it wasn’t on the best of terms.  I’m not sure what issues he had that he wasn’t letting me in on, but his communication skills were lacking to say the least.  If you all know anything about me, I need to talk out my feelings and anything else that is on my mind.  Anyway, there was other stuff going on and I just felt we needed to part ways.  So for me to send him an email out of the blue I figured I would keep it short and to the point.  I will copy and paste what I said to him.

‘How’s it going?  Not sure why but today I was thinking of Sydney.  I bet she is getting big. How old now? You’ll have to send me a picture.
 
You still at the Bent Tree?  What’s new in your life?
 
Everything going pretty good here’

Here is what he responded back to me.

I have very bad news, Bu’er.  My ex-wife murdered Sydney, then took her own life.  It happened in April.  My entire family, and I, are completely destroyed.  I’m barely able to talk about it, but give me a call and I’ll let you know what happened.  
 
Always,
EB’

When I read that I was shocked.  Beyond shocked.  My stomach became an instant knot.  I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  It was the weirdest and worst feeling I think I have ever felt in my life.   I didn’t know what to say back to him.  What do you say to someone who just lost their daughter and the ex wife was believed to have done it.   I remember that he used to tell me how unstable she was.  She was one of those women who lied about things and everyone believed her.  She could accuse someone of something and she knew how to manipulate the courts in her favor.  I met her one time.   At one time they were suspecting her current husband ( I think she was married like 5 times).  I’m not sure whatever came of it…but, the other day he sent me an email on FB to say Merry Christmas and I have been corresponding some with him.  He asked about K and how old she was.  I was telling K the story today and she started crying.  She said how sad and she couldn’t imagine having to deal with anything like that.   One of the things I said to him was ‘ it’s like it’s not real”  like, what? how could that be? like, nothing like that could ever happen to someone that I knew.   Plus, it made me wonder why and how did I start thinking about her, why couldn’t I get her out of my mind? 

Another time I got the same sensation about an old Yahoo chatter.  Do you all remember Bloss?  Her and I have always kept in contact…when I lived in VA the first time we would sometimes chat on the phone.  I was at work one day and she came to my mind.  I’m not sure how long it had been since I had spoken with her, but I think it was a least a month or more.  I emailed her when I got home and told her about how I was working and for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about her.   She emailed me back and asked what time it was that I thought about her.  I told her what time it had been and she responded that right about that time she was at the doctor’s with her mother in law and they had just found out that her mother was being diagnosed with cancer.  She explained how bad her husband was taking the news and how she was worried about how to take care of her. 

In both of those circumstances I wonder if I should have done more.  Is that the reason it happened, should I have done something else or gotten more from it?  I don’t know but I have not had any of those incidents for a long time. 

 Well, I guess this wasn’t a great blog 2 days before Christmas, but that is what is on my mind…..and that’s  just how we roll.

One other thing I am getting into is knitting.  I have always knitted in the winter.  It calms my nerves.  Plus, I like giving the scarfs I make as gifts.  I only know how to make scarfs.  I want to learn how to make an afghan.  I will have to teach myself how to do that.  I’m a watch and learn kind of girl, but you never know what you can accomplish until you set your mind to do it!! 

Well, other than that, I’m still plugging away at the job hunting.  I’m a little down because I thought I would have a job by now.  The GEICO thing really threw me.  I had an interview last week with a State Farm agency with in 5 minutes from the house.  I haven’t heard anything yet.  *sighs*

Ok, better run.   Hugs and kisses and all that good stuff!!!

I’m watching the cooking channel and the Iron Chef is on. But it’s not American, it’s Japanese or Chinese and there are American voices speaking. I thought it was them trying to be funny, but I think they are tanslating it….very strange.

K started school today, yah!! I pray she keeps going and doesn’t have any problems here.

My brother told me I could clean his house for $$, because they get a service and he would just let me do it and earn some Moola! I got there a little bit before 9:30 am and didn’t leave until 2;43pm. Now maybe to some that doesn’t sound like anything major. But I can tell you that I am no Hazel. I don’t have OCD. It’s actually funny that I he asked me to clean cause I clean but in my time…I was never one to be all crazy on cleaning. I wish I was or even just a little bit more than I am, but I’m not and that’s how it is, ya know? Anyway, because my brother helped me with moving, I really wanted to impress him and do a really good job and by God I did! His wife was really happy. Tomorrow I will deposit the check (not sure how much) and then I can make the car payment (adding it to what I already have in the bank). I’m very grateful for this. I’m also very sore tonight. I swear I used muscles I haven’t used in a very long time.

Oh yeah, my dog, Lilly is here with me. She got out (of the house) the other day and ran across the street to a nieghbors house. K and her friend that we live with…I’ll have to give her a name cause I there will be a blog about her one day, and the friends brother and his friend were all trying to get Lilly in the house. Anyway, I went over and was apologizing to the family for 1, disturbing them and 2, having my dog run amock in their yard. (is amock the right word? I liked getting words of the day from Whabs…I still love the word AGAST!!) Well, my point to this story was the dude (the dad and hubby of the household) came to the door and OMG he was freaking hot. He’s a cop, I learned from GG and he is sooooooo cute! I don’t want him or anyone else..but I do like a little eye candy.

Being online and drinking makes me remember my old chat days when everyone was in a room, the good people and we were listening to music and laughing. Fun times.

Ok guess i’ll go read some blogs. Peace out friends!

So, that leaves me to finishing packing and moving.   It’s funny that I came across a wedding album and there was nothing written in it.  I was saving it for when we had our actual wedding.  We got married at the court house and since he is Catholic we were waiting for my annulment from my first marriage to go through, and then we never had the money to do anything.  So there it was blank and just waiting for some happy couple to write down all there memories from the joyous yet expensive day!  Arie, want me to send it to ya???

My brother, God love him, got a Uhaul and brought his son, best friend and wife to help get me moved.  My sister was there, her husband and daughter.   My nephew from another brother and his wife came a little later.  It was like a mini reunion.  My niece cried, which really surprised me, she kept calling me a bitch for leaving…she was joking and understood but didnt’ want to see me leave.  (just to clarify she didn’t call me a bitch to be mean, you know how you call someone something like that and you don’t mean it but you say it to show how much you don’t want them to leave??? it was like that).   TH was not there, he went to his parents house and said he couldn’t be there when I left, it was too hard on him.  We stopped in Winchester, VA for lunch and headed on to my new home.  We got here a little after 9pm.  Unloaded and my brother returned the Uhaul.  The next several days was me unpacking.  I’m still trying to get things organized.  My nephew had a flat screen tv that he wasn’t using so I have that in my room, just need to get it hooked up to cable.  My sister in law took K to Kohl’s to get school clothes.  She had a coupon and bought her a lot of stuff.

There’s a point where I feel like a moocher.  I hate it, I hate not having any money, or at least any money that I can contribute for bills, food, etc.  Everyone is really nice, they are sad that I have to do this but very supportive.  So, with all that support and I am very thankful by the way, wouldn’t you do the same thing?  How can you not see that me moving here and getting out of a situation that is bringing me down and causing so much stress is the right thing to do?   As long as I am here I am ok, but since Thanksgiving was so close I had to go back home for a few days.   I was invited to my sister in laws family’s house but decided to go back to MD.  I told K she could have a sleep over on Saturday and TH’s cousin had a reception that I wanted to go to.  I spent the holiday at his parents and everyone was cool.  The reception went well and we had a good time.  TH continued to go to the legion, he drank at the reception…very much so I might add and continued on as if nothing was wrong at all.  When I was trying to decide if I was going to drive to MD  for the holiday or stay here in VA, TH kept saying he would give me money if I needed something.  I got there and he didn’t have any food, but yet he went to the legion, he didn’t ask if I needed money to get some school supplies for K, but he went to the legion., I ran to the store and purchased a few supplies for the girls sleepover, but he never gave me any money. On Sunday he asked ME if I had any cash so HE could get cigarettes.  It almost makes me laugh as I am typing it.  I am only telling you all this because I guess I’m assuring you as well as me that I know it’s wrong and it shouldn’t be like that .  It’s just a matter of how long am I going to put up with it.  I made the first move, the rest will fall into place.

I guess I’m just one big mess and full of emotions.  I’ll be glad when I can blog about my boring life and silly topics again.

I applied at GEICO.  I figured since I had worked there before and had my MD license  that it would be fairly easy to get a job there.  I applied for the Sales position.  I worked in claims the first time but thought sales might be cool.  I remember hearing how the sales dept was a lot of fun, very loud and they gave a lot of GEICO stuff for incentives for selling. Plus I thought it would be nice to know how the different dept’s run, to know more about the company.   I have sold policies for a long time and knew I could do it.  I had 3 interviews in 3 days and felt I answered everything the right way and even passed a few tests they had.  The only thing I didn’t have experience in was the goals and competitive atmosphere that the manager told me was in that department.  Well, yesterday I got the email that says I was not selected.   I was devastated and shocked.  I really thought I had it.  So, I spent the night all bummed and trying to figure out what to do.  The email states that you have to wait 6 months before applying again.  I emailed GEICO and asked if that was for the Sales position only or if I could apply for the claims position now.  If it’s only for the sales position then I will go in and apply for the claims rep position and start again.  I hate interviewing but will do it and hopefully this time it will work! Also, I have to start looking in the want ads.  Something will turn up, I just have to be patient.

So, that is what is going on with me.  A lot of different emotions going on but knowing what I’m shooting for always helps.

Keep on, Keep’in on!!!

xoxoxo

My sister in law works for an association for the blind in VA and told me that I can start working there with her as a temp.  Something for me right away.  It will be part time, but that’s ok. 

I’ll be glad when I can start blogging about happy stuff and not be so depressing….it will happen my friends, I promise!!

p.s. I will send out a pen pal card once I get settled…whabs can I have your addy?  If you would prefer not to give it out, I completely understand.

TH has not handled this very well, as I suspected.  His family has been nice but I know it’s hurting them as well.  Such a weird experience.  So many emotions that I have been dealing with.  I’ll just be glad when I’m moved.  Honestly, finding a home for Lilly has been the hardest.  More so than leaving TH! I was going to ask my friend (GG) if I can bring Lilly.  She has 2 dogs, Bear and Lillie! HA, 2 Lillies/y’s.  Would be a bit confusing, don’t you think?  Of course I can’t.  That is a lot to ask someone who is being very gracious as it is.  Plus my Lilly has that still pooping on the floor problem at night and during the day when we are all gone.  

I wish I didn’t have to work this week, I have so much to do.  I need the money though. 

Well I better go pack some more.  Just wanted to check in. 

11-11-11

So, the date I set is the weekend before Thanksgiving.  I had been thinking about going before then but I wanted to get K straightened out in school.  This gives us 3 weeks (well less than that now).  WOW, I have so much work to do!  I bought a little notebook just for my lists, and man do I ever have some lists going.   Every thing from selling some stuff, getting stuff together to donate, throwing out trash, thinking about what I want to take and leave behind.   I have no clue if TH is going to stay here or go back to his parent’s house.  I know he has no clue yet either.   One of the biggest decisions is I need to figure out what to do with Lilly.  My friend has 2 other dogs now.  Bear, the oldest dog is having some health problems and her 2nd dog is a bit younger….that dog’s name is Lillie! HA, 2 dogs named Lilly!  How confusing for them.  But, my Lilly isn’t all the way potty trained.  She will tell you she has to go out, but she goes on the floor at night and if we are away (school, work, etc).   So, I asked TH if he wanted to keep her. No answer yet. 

I’m excited about this change.  There are times I get really scared and think that I am making a mistake, but when I get like that I think about the bills and different things TH has said or him sitting at the bar and I am not scared for long.  

I have not made good decisions in my life, and I pray this is a good one.  I keep thinking if it gets me on the path to getting out of debt then it’s a good thing.